Author: Chris Pearson, Partner & Email Marketing Specialist at 3BM

Since 2010, I’ve played some kind of competitive volleyball, but… 

After not playing for the first six years I’d lived in Colorado, I wanted to get back into it. 

Off the back of losing a ton of weight and getting back into the gym, I started looking around for specific products and information on volleyball workouts. 

While the internet is full of general information and advice, I was looking for something that resonated with me a bit more. Something that felt more like me. 

After a few weeks of searching, I came across: 

Here’s a bit at Better at Beach:

“Mark Burik, started VolleyCamp Hermosa in 2015 mid-way through his career as a professional beach volleyball player. Originally, it was only designed as a camp (and somewhat of a volleyball hostel) where players could book accommodations, training partners and a high level coach in ONE CLICK.”

The crazy thing is that once I started playing Mountain Tournaments out here in Colorado, I got to meet and shake Matt’s hand up in Aspen.

He’d come out for the open sand tournament. In his off time, he ran a few free drill sessions. It was cool to meet and greet the guy that started this brand.

Him and his team are awesome.

Rules: The Email Muse

Each week, I venture through the marketing wilderness to find highly-effective ecommerce sales emails… and I shine a light on what made them work. 

My goal with this weekly tangle with the email muse is to teach you strategies and tactics you can use with your emails.  

Where do I find these magical electronic pieces of mail? My inbox, mostly, since I’m signed up to lists that I want to be on. I also take suggestions from readers who have a stellar email they’d like to share. 

Did you get an email recently that made you smile, your eyes tear up, or flat out gut punched you? I want to see it. 

Forward the email to me at (chris at threebeaconmarketing dot com) with a brief note about what you liked about it. If I choose to break it down, I’ll give you a shoutout and link back to your site. 

And no forwarding me your own emails. That’s the only rule. 


Let’s get started.

Subject Line: Curiosity and Intrigue

Prior to this email Better at Beach hinted at something new coming for their customers. So when a subject line like this drops, it’s hard not to click: 

This is a curiosity and intrigue subject line. If you preface this subject line with a few “anticipation announcements” in prior emails, then you can ratchet up response due to people looking or that that thing you mention in prior emails. 

The beautiful thing about this type of subject line (and this email) is that humans rarely grow tired of curiosity. It’s one of few primary driving forces in getting humans to “explore” and “discover” new things. It’s hardwired into our DNA to figure out what happens next. 

Opening Heading: The Reader’s Question

This is the question on the reader’s mind after they read the subject line. So, using it to reassure them that, yes, they are in the right place for an answer helps keep them reading down the email:

What is the secret sauce?

When we can ask the questions or make the statements inside the reader’s mind as they consume our copy, we’re able to make connections with the reader. This “it’s like they know me” feeling in the reader is where the connection to the brand occurs. 

This is why customer and market research is so important.

You’re able to see, read, and feel what the customer’s going through in various buying stages. 

The customer who is recently aware that they have a problem is much different than a customer who has narrowed their purchasing option down to two brands. 

How we speak to the customers in each of these buying stages matters. If you get the “message-market” match incorrect, it can put customers off, make them feel misunderstood, or simply not reach them–so they ignore you entirely. 

The “blowout sale” promotions only resonate with about 3 – 7% of your total market. The other 90%+ of your market needs a different type of message. 

This is why understanding where your customer is in their buying journey is paramount to your copy success. 

The Offer Teased Even More

Tease the offer to keep curiosity high: 

Better at Beach shares their new discovery that helps volleyball players who need to increase vertical fast. 

This is where the “secret sauce” comes in. 

And, Better at Beach bakes in social proof into their copy. How? “Thousands have enjoyed the secret sauce and keep coming back for more!” 

Now, with this social proof, it’s important to prove your proof. This means screenshots, videos, or a mix of both to SHOW that you’re legit. Saying stuff online these days has little to no weight. Gotta prove your statements to actually get through the reader’s skepticism. 

The Offer: Introduced

Ask the question again and introduce the offer: 

Better at Beach asks the question again that’s tied the email together so far. This brings the reader back around to WHY they were reading in the first place. Then, the offer in this email is introduced. 

The Offer Details: Features, Benefits, Promise

Here you get the offer details: Features, Benefits, and Promise. 

Feature: 60-day plan with exercise and nutrition. 

Benefit: target muscles needed for explosive jumps and quick movements on the court.

Promise: Program delivers results fast. 

This offer is pretty straightforward, however…

I’d spend a bit more time defining what “fast” means, how the offer targets the “jump muscles,” and lean into the social proof here. 


While this is the general overview of the product, it’s still important that you continue to prove what you’re saying is true. 

A quote or a testimonial that speaks to how quickly someone got the result would fit real nice here. 

Social Proof: Thousands of people have seen huge leaps

It’s great to say it, but it’s better to say it and show it: 

Thousands… huge leaps… vertical and overall game… a few short weeks… 

This is all great information. It’s also what the reader will ping in their mind as important. 

I’d test making these promises / claims a little more specific. 

E.g. “Tara gained 6” on her vertical in less than 4 weeks”

This level of specificity makes it concrete and real for the customer at the time that they’re reading. 

It also sets expectations for them, too. Expectations and boundaries help future pace customers into a reality or vision for themselves. 

They begin to construct a world around those expectations and boundaries, casting themselves forward into the new reality–this is a form of “vision casting” you can give your customers.

And once the customer cast themselves forward, they begin to look at their current identity to see where the gaps our. 

Once you get a human into their identity, then you’re able to suggest and ask them to consider ways to improve their lives. 

This is where persuasion and influence happens. 

The Sign Off

Better at Beach keeps their signoff simple and to the point. 

They keep the reader’s mind focused on the end game… 

To see them in the sand. 

The Social Proof Screenshots

Here’s where the proof of the proof comes in:

With the claims made in this email, I would stack this type of social proof even more. I’d put in more than two testimonials like this into this email alone.

I’d even stack 2 – 3 in the main body copy after the claims are made to show proof. 

Then, I’d put another dozen or so in the P.S. just to cause the “scroll effect.” 

This is where you have to scroll through so much proof that your brain takes a shortcut and suggests you accept the proof wholesale to save on brain power. 

Now, make sure your reviews/testimonials are legit and don’t “stuff” this stack. Because if even one review is false, it ruins the entire effort.

I’d consider adding in a few video testimonials, too. Use a tool like Vouch For to capture these videos so that you can leverage your happy, successful customers to SHOW that your product is legit. 

What You Learned


That was a monster of a breakdown. 

Glad you stuck it out with me. 

Here’s the tl;dr of what you learned today: 

  • Curiosity and intrigue get the click, but you gotta keep attention to make the sale. 
  • Send “pre offer” emails to grow anticipation in the reader. 
  • Tease the offer to keep the reader engaged. 
  • Introduce the offer and then get straight to how it will benefit them. 
  • Claim social proof? Show it with screenshots and videos. 
  • Keep sign offs simple.

Now what?

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